Good morning, everyone. This is Lois Lane Miami, The Equalizer”, on the Purple Kool-Aid Podcast. It is Tuesday morning, and I am in sunny South Florida. Nobody cares about that, do they?

Yesterday, I left off talking about cheating, specifically breaking down the dynamics of women competing for titles or the titles that men give them in situations where men are cheating. I even touched on women cheating a little bit. The titles I’m referring to are “side chick,” “wifey,” “main chick.” Women often say things like, “I’m the main one he comes home to,” while calling the other woman the “side chick” or “side bitch,” and all kinds of stuff like that.

Women get into these competing wars with each other when being cheated on by a man, calling the other woman the “mistress” or the “homewrecker.” Typically, it’s more of the wife saying things about the other woman because she feels she holds a higher standard or is in a much better position than this other woman. She feels more validated and a sense of importance, even in the pain or shame of being cheated on. Even if you’re on the other side, it can be painful. We say all kinds of things to ourselves to explain or justify what is happening to us or to minimize the pain or the effect.

What goes on in people’s heads and what they’re thinking and feeling often has nothing to do with what they’re feeling inside when they’re lying in bed at night thinking or throughout the day when they’re going through some type of trauma or dysfunction. We have been taught to be polite, to smile, and to say we are having a good day no matter what is happening to us. If we don’t, we’re seen as negative or unlikable. As human beings, we’ve been taught that it is our job to be likable and pleasant as much as we possibly can. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I don’t want to get too deep into that.

I want to tell you a story related to breaking down cheating and women competing for titles with men when they’re being cheated on.

I had three dogs: two female dogs and one male dog. My female dogs were named Lady, a Doberman Pinscher, and Poochie, a mutt we found in the street. The male dog was named Muttley. He was also a mutt. Lady was spayed, but Poochie was not. All the dogs liked to eat human food, and if we didn’t give it to them, they would get it from the garbage.

Muttley was old and had a piece of his ear chipped off. He was a rescue, just like Poochie. Lady, we got from some people before they started calling it “adopting.” Back then, you didn’t even need licenses. They found a way to monetize you giving your dog to someone else.

Muttley would seize opportunities because he was not neutered and wanted to mate. Lady would get into the garbage no matter how we wrapped it up, tear out the bag, and spread it all over the house. Looking back, I don’t understand why we didn’t just tie it up and put it outside, but we didn’t. I would come home to a mess and have to clean it up.

One day, Lady had torn out the garbage, and there was food everywhere, including a pack of bologna. The two female dogs were hovering, growling, and being territorial over the garbage. Meanwhile, Muttley quietly came around the side, grabbed the bologna, and took it off to where he was safe to eat it.

This scenario is similar to what happens when women begin fighting over a man’s “bologna” (attention, affection). The man gets what he wants while the women are left arguing and fighting, ending up with nothing. Muttley was quiet, slick, and smart. He didn’t have to deal with any of the wrath. He didn’t even have to be the one to pull the bag out of the garbage; the female dogs did all the work. While they were fighting, he got what he wanted.

When a man cheats on you, and you are fighting with the other woman, he is the one who benefits. You look like a fool. You are a complete fool and a complete idiot while the two of you fight each other, give each other titles, and complain. Focus on what is actually happening, who is disrespecting you, and what they’re disrespecting.

If someone commits to you, that is a commitment between the two of you. It does not carry over to third parties. For example, if I sign a contract with Purple Kool-Aid Records and then decide to go over to Bad Boy Records to record music, knowing that I have a commitment with Purple Kool-Aid, who should be mad? Should Purple Kool-Aid Records be mad at me, the artist, or should they go storming over to Bad Boy Records?

Keep in mind, I made a commitment with Purple Kool-Aid Records not to record or release anything elsewhere. I took it upon myself to break that commitment. Do you think Purple Kool-Aid Records should have an issue with Bad Boy Records, or should they be mad at me for breaking the commitment? Do you believe the cheater is telling you the whole truth about how the situation went down?

I have arrived at work, and I’ll leave you with those questions. Think about it and let me know what you think. In the next episode, we will get more into the minds and thinking of a side chick, a mistress, or the other woman, and how she might want to handle that.

Thank you for listening to the Purple Kool-Aid Podcast. This is Lois Lane, the Equalizer. You guys have a great Tuesday!