Good morning, everyone. This is Lois Ln., Miami, on the Purple Kool-Aid podcast. Today, we’re going to talk about 1000 ways money buys happiness. Yes, that’s right—1000 ways money buys happiness. I’m talking about this because people are always saying, “Money doesn’t buy happiness.” I have noticed that all the people who say that are either people who already have money or those who have no idea what it’s like to be poor, to do without, be homeless, be hungry, or be without healthcare, among other things. Some of them may have struggled a little, but 99% of the time, a person who is going to tell you that money doesn’t buy happiness has no idea what it’s like to be without said money. It’s very easy to say when you have no idea what it’s like to be without it. They tend to be pretty conservative.

I have also noticed that they don’t recognize the things in their lives that are directly related to money and that if they had no money, they would not be able to enjoy those things. I’m going to get into all those things. While I do these recordings, I’m not sure how many it’s going to take, I’m not sure how I’m going to record, but I’m going to the point where I am going to break down for you 1000 ways that money buys happiness.

Now, a video that I recorded on this actually was a video rather than an audio on the Purple Kool-Aid podcast. I did a TikTok video. And I said, “I’m going to record a video saying ways money buys happiness,” and someone got on there and said to me, what a person on TikTok put in my comments, that that sounds great until you suffer from a terminal illness. A terminal illness, and then you’ll be throwing that money in the street. And I’ve heard this argument a few times, and this is what I had to say to them. I replied to the young man, “If you have a terminal illness, I seriously doubt that you would want to be homeless during the time that you have that terminal illness. And possibly, if your house wasn’t paid off or your rent or your mortgage wasn’t paid, you would have no place to live, and I’m quite sure that someone in the last stages of terminal illness doesn’t want to spend their last few days trying to figure out where they’re going to live, how they’re going to eat, or how they’re going to pay for anything that would offer them some type of relief or some type of comfort.”

I didn’t say all that in a comment. I made it very brief, and I just said, “How would you like to be homeless for the last few days that you’re suffering from a terminal illness?” And the person was an intelligent person, and they got the point, right? But sometimes you have to break things down for people even more because they like to argue. Mostly because they like to argue, sometimes because they’re just not getting the point, sometimes they don’t want to get the point, right?

You have a terminal illness. Imagine you have no money. A lot of people have no money; they also have no insurance. Paying for medicine, a more comfortable bed to lay in, and having a roof over your head at the point or the time when you are suffering from a terminal illness is definitely going to make you feel a whole lot better. Am I saying that you’re going to be jumping up and down on a trampoline or doing cartwheels with a big fat smile on your face, showing all your front and back teeth, while you have a terminal illness simply because you have money? No, I am not saying that. That would be ridiculous. However, I do believe that if you have a terminal illness and someone has some great drug that can relieve some of your pain, and they hold it up in front of you, and they tell you that you need money to pay for it, you would be a lot happier, or you will feel a lot better if you have the money to pay for it so that you can get some type of relief.

I’m pretty sure. So, your terminal illness, I am guessing—and correct me if I’m wrong—that having a roof over your head and heat, which all cost money, is going to make you feel a lot better. Some amount of happiness, all right. So, you’re going to be pretty happy when you get to put those covers over you, when you get off that ground, then you get inside that house, and you get to lay in that soft bed, and somebody gives you some drug, codeine, or whatever drug they give you for extreme pain while you’re suffering from a terminal illness, you’re going to feel a little bit of joy when you get some relief. I’m imagining, what do you think?

So, I am guessing that people are confusing, or maybe I’m confusing, but they’re thinking, oh, happiness means you’re running around with a smile on your face 24 hours a day, and that money doesn’t buy you that. I know I’m not saying that money buys you that, but I also noticed that people like to offer extremes as examples in order to prove their points. Baby, I’m doing that with the terminal illness, but hold on because I’m going to give you a lot more points that aren’t extreme, and ways that money buys happiness, right?

So, a few years ago, this is going to be a more lighthearted way that money buys happiness. I was living up in Ohio, Ohio, and I came down to Miami to visit my daughters. And while I was here in Miami—because I live in Miami now, and I lived in Miami most of my life, but I had temporarily moved up to Ohio for about 6 1/2 years, right—so while I was living in Ohio, I came down to visit my daughters. And while I was on vacation—and by the way, if I had no money, and I know we’re not out there, and I probably don’t need to say this, but I’m gonna say it for the thickheaded people—cars take gas and oil and maintenance and tires, and airplanes, airplane tickets cost money. Even if I were decided that I was gonna walk from Columbus, Ohio, to Miami, Florida, it was still gonna cost me some money because I would need clothes to wear on the way, and I’d need to buy food. Because if I didn’t buy food on the way, I would probably pass out on the road on my way.

So, had I not had that money, I would not have been able to visit my daughters. Visiting my daughters made me happy, well, most of the time. No, actually, it didn’t make me happy. That people who tell you that money doesn’t buy happiness don’t know what it’s like to have money. See, I grew up with a big lack of money most of the time in my life, and so there are little things like this I can put down and put together as an equation to come up with an answer that allows me to be grateful and remember that were it not for money, that little bit of happiness I would not have been able to obtain.

So, people out there who don’t have a lot of money or who have not always had money, do not allow people who have always had money to tell you that money does not buy happiness. A lot of the time, the reason why they are telling you that is because they want to feel better about the fact that they see you struggling, and they know that money will solve your issues. But either they don’t want you to be on the same level with them, they want you to shut up and quit complaining about not having money. There are a myriad of reasons why people do this. They’re afraid you might come and steal or take something of theirs, or take some of your money. They don’t want you as a person or as a group of a specific type of people to realize that money is power, and that it gives you freedom and the options to obtain things that can lead to overall happiness, but that solves goddamn near every problem that there is in this wonderful, illogical world that we live in, right?

The irony of that is that they go out and start these organizations and insist on signing up as nonprofit organizations so that they are not taxed because they don’t want to give away that thing that they’re trying to convince you does not provide or help you obtain happiness, which is, if you haven’t already guessed it, ding ding ding ding ding, money. So, for some reason, these organizations are trying very, very hard to give by signing up either as a religious institution or a nonprofit. I don’t want to talk about nonprofits. Nonprofits typically are there to help people, and a lot of churches help people as well, but I find it very suspect that they sit there the whole time telling you money doesn’t buy happiness, usually 15 to 20 minutes, or five, or even one minute before they ask you to give them some of your stuff that doesn’t buy happiness. And then when we build the building, the bigger church, or whatever it is, and it looks pretty nice, everyone is happy, right? Don’t find that kind of weird, but I don’t want to beat up on organizations that help people.

Right, right. See, a lot of people, they’re so used to having money, they have no idea what it’s like not to have money, either that or they’ve grown up in families where they’ve never had to do without, and they feel like they were entitled. Whether it was rent or mortgage, or they weren’t able to deal out millions of dollars when something happened to one of their loved ones, but they had hundreds of thousands of dollars, they want to sit here and tell you that money doesn’t buy happiness.

I’ll get into that later. I’m gonna wrap this up today because I am about to get on the highway, and my car cost me money on my way to work where I absolutely must go, and I have no choice about it. And the reason why I have no choice about going to work every day is because I need money to make it to the next day, have a place to live, to be in the car that I’m driving in, to talk on the phone that I’m talking to you on, to record on the nice thousand-dollar iPhone that I’m recording this Purple Kool-Aid podcast on, talking about 1000 reasons why money buys happiness. And I can tell you that if I was able to get a newer phone and a newer car, I would definitely be more happy going to work.

My car has a couple of things on it, and I’m still paying for it because I don’t have a lot of money. They got where they were going a lot quicker than me. That’s neither here nor there, but boy, that car sure did look good, and I could’ve just imagined myself sitting in it and speeding up past me, and how much fun that would be, and how happy that would make me, right?

So, of course, there are things that are going on in my life that are not making me happy. Probably not going to work, or to a business, or a business they enjoy going to. Imagine, they could be pretty happy. Or I would definitely be more happy if I didn’t have to get up at 6 o’clock this morning and go listen to people bitch and complain about the aspects of my job that they feel like I haven’t done quick enough or I need to do quicker.

I have a party that I’m going to later on tonight, and it would definitely make me happy if I could just sleep today, go pick out a super hot outfit instead of digging through what I already have, and showing up to the party laid out with my hair done and all kinds of stuff like that, and partying until like the sun came up, and drinking all the expensive drinks I like to drink, surrounded by my friends, and not having to get up the next morning with a hangover, right? So that would make me happy if I didn’t have to go to work the next day after I go out to this party that I need to go to because I’ve stood up my friend a couple of times, and it is their birthday, so I need to go.

So yeah, if I had a lot of money, there are a lot of these little things that I’m talking about right now that would not be an issue. And I would be happy if they weren’t. So, I don’t know about you, but I think money buys a whole lot of happiness, and I think that there are a lot of things in life that are going to happen regardless. With some more gems, ha ha ha ha ha ha. Next podcast. You, bye.

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